Weight loss 12 months on

I joined weight watchers 12 months ago exactly yesterday, I have lots of different places I have written down bits and pieces of my journey - some on forums, some on facebook groups - I'm going to go through and do a quick review, should reinforce how far I have come in the 12 months the least part of which is the scales which have me 17 kgs lighter!

This is what I wrote the day after joining Weight Watchers:

So this is Day 1 after going to Weight Watchers meeting last night..

I think I am an emotional eater so I hoping it will help to journal my thoughts on this journey.

Sometimes I wonder how I got this overweight - probably stems from early teens when compared to my tiny friends (6s and 8s) I felt gianormous as a size 10/12. I was a 12/14 by the time I finished school and felt very fat.. I laugh at that now. When I met my husband at uni I was 60 kgs... a size 12 because of my height and I have never looked skinny, then at the end of first year I got very sick lost bucket load of weight - size 8 and then got put on hormone therapy and moved in with my husband- his diet was/is horrendous. My parents have always been really healthy and taught me good nutrition, I was living with someone who ate chips deep fried as often as possible and creamy pastas - the weight started to stack on - but very quickly, I was still exercising a bit - walking about an hr a day to and from train station but working 40 hrs a week and doing fulltime uni... work was at a french cafe.. freshly baked chocolate croissant anyone? After 12 months I had to see my specialist again, he asked if I had any concerns, I told him my weight was a concern... that's when he told me one of the side affects of the hormones I was on was increased appetite and slower metabolism... fark! So now I was a size 14, felt huge... still a bit funny in hindsight...

Fast forward a few years and the 14 turned into a 16 then an 18 - when I freaked out at a picture of myself and joined WW for the first time... I weighed 97 kgs... how on earth did that happen? But once I tracked what I ate I realised that adopting my husband's eating habits - fast food/junk food and big portions was why plus no more walking in the city! He is skinny as a rake so it didn't matter for him. Tracking and exercising saw me get down to 74 kgs and in a loose 14... and then I don't know what happened, guess I stopped tracking and going to meetings.. I was writing up my PhD so spent my days in front of a computer for a year day and night shovelling in whatever came to hand... my husband proposed a year or two later.. eek a wedding, back to weight watchers... I was in tight 18s by then..107 kgs! I lost about 10 kgs and felt pretty good when we got married despite being close to the heaviest I had ever been. Fell pregnant soon after - lost another 5 kg in the first 3 months but stacked on 15 in the last trimester... hovered around 110 kgs for a while after number one baby girl was born and then back to work and my jaw nearly fell through the floor when I weighed in at 116 on our scales at home... size 20/22.... fell pregnant again and then started to lose weight.. got weighed at 34 weeks and was still 116 kg - at the end of that week of vomiting and after number two baby girls' birth not sure what I would've been but a couple of weeks after AB was born was 113kgs... weighed myself last week 114 kgs so creeping back up... fully clothed at WW weighed 117.5 kg...

There is a lot of me to go... have lost a lot before but now I need to lose almost half my body weight... I can feel it slowing me down though and I want to be able to get fit again and be a healthy weight and role model for my girls like my parents were to me.

Somewhere along the way I became an emotional eater..eating not for the taste/hunger just for the sake of eating...I don't eat a lot but if I am honest what I do eat is often high calorie crap - not sure what triggers it yet apart from tiredness and boredom... I love food but I know that I don't love macca's it is truly gross and greasy so why do I think of it as a suitable lunch? I am a control freak and probably an over achiever, I put high expectations on myself in my personal life and work life and wonder if maybe my weight is a security blanket and allows me to not have to be perfect in all ways? Hmmm, rambling.. I will do what was suggested at the meeting and track when I eat or want to eat..

There are very few  substantial posts after that.

November 2012
The greek bbq was really not that unhealthy - bbq lamb and more bbq lamb and a little bbq steak and some bbq lamb I did eat lots of it and the yummy salads and vegies but when the rest of my choices in the day were healthy I guess that is ok. Ate 34 points today - busy - busy is ok for me, busy and stressed not so good, busy and active and stressed ok... I think tiredness and stress must be my biggest triggers.

Tracking is obviously important and putting down whatever Annabelle doesn't eat! How easy is it to pick at their plate or instead of "wasting" what they didn't touch eating it. Thank goodness we have a chook bucket!

I find social situations the absolute hardest - it is snack food, particularly savoury that I cant stop munching on. I have been grabbing a banana on the way out the door lately and eating it in the car so that where ever I am going there is at least something recent in my stomach - me plus out plus ravenous is not a great combination.

I still need to refocus socially from food - if we have visitors I think about what food I am going to buy/make and offer them. Dinner guests get something yummy and unhealthy... I need to sharpen up my repertoire (sp?) of healthy yummy dinners. Made a vegie lasagna that was so good last week. Need to work out the points but wasn't much in it points wise except some low fat milk and the pasta and a little cheese so should be reasonably good.

Was thinking about celebrating each goal with a reward of some sort, something I wouldn't normal splurge on most of my money is spent on the kids or others these days - I am going to aim for 1 kg/fortnight so need some dates on those mini-goals!
So when I hit 5 kgs (30/11/11) going to get a pedicure.
110 kgs (25/12/11) -
10 kgs lost (8/2/11) - reached in Jan/Feb I think
15 kg lost - (18/4/11) reached in September
When I get below 100 kgs (23/5/11) going to buy myself a GHD!! (this is still on the list, with any luck will be buying one next week! Optimistic time frames - 4.5 months late)
20 kgs (27/6/11)

Wow, putting dates on those really shows the long road ahead - by end of June next year I should be the weight I was when I first joined weight watchers!

Jan 2012
Checking back on my goals list: 
So when I hit 5 kgs (30/11/11) going to get a pedicure.
110 kgs (25/12/11) - reached 18/1 - reward...
10 kgs lost (8/2/11) -
15 kg lost - (18/4/11) - massage/spa day?
When I get below 100 kgs (23/5/11) going to buy myself a GHD!!
20 kgs (27/6/11) - Fabulous new shoes
30 kgs -
40 kgs and goal - Kitchen Aid!!

June 2012
Been a long time since I've been in here and I am a bit disheartened at the whole thing - the first 11 kgs came off pretty quickly - about .5 to 1 kg a week which is good as I didn't want to do anything drastic considering I am breastfeeding but it has stagnated for weeks now - I will go and measure myself after posting this but I really don't know what is going on. I have upped the exercise considerably as the weight hasn't moved (it goes up one week/down the next and repeat), I measure and weigh everything I put in my mouth and according to the weight watchers points plan my energy deficit for the week should be considerable but it doesn't show on the scales... I'm not hungry, I'm not depriving myself I am following the healthy food guidelines. I am trying a few things this week - more protein instead of fruit as snacks.

I have joined the gym as the cold mornings and sleepless nights have killed my morning jog - will do a couple of treadmill runs and one outdoor one on the weekend. I am doing lots of at home/living room floor exercises too. I feel good and fit and healthy but after 8 (or 9?) months my goal was to be under 100 kg by the end of June - that is 9 days and 5 kgs away!

Ah well, keep going I guess nothing else to do but eat healthy and exercise but with so far to go I want each week to be a step in the right direction rather than stagnating.

Talking to my leader after 4 months of going up and down around the same number and we figured out that I wasn't eating enough - I made sure I ate the minimum number of propoints and the weight starting to come off again, very slowly. But I kept running and going to the gym 2 or 3 times a week so was getting fitter all the time.

Mon Sep 24, 2012 2:38 pm

I am still plodding along, joined the Michelle Bridges 12WBT and enjoying it but getting frustrated with how slow my body is to lose weight compared to others - I need to get over this mind set - every step of the way is an achievement, I am getting in control of what I eat and even when I choose "bad" foods I can usually stop before I do too much damage to my weekly food intake.

I just read this on the 12WBT forum and wanted to put it somewhere to remind myself to be proud that I have only lost 15.8 kg in the past 11.5 months, that I have only lost 2.5 kgs in the past three weeks that I have been doing the challenge and that I can "only" run 10 minutes without stopping to walk after doing the couch 2 5 k for the past 6 (?) months.

There is no 'only' 100g.

Your BODY has worked damn hard to lose that 100g, 200g, 300g.
It is changing shape and adapting to its new working conditions.
It is enjoying the good food and movement.

Your MIND has worked damn hard to lose those grams too.
It is adapting to its new working conditions.
It is enjoying the good food and clearing the fog.

Your MIND and BODY are working damn hard TOGETHER.
They are embracing the changes, and shifting the balance.
Changes are happening.

Your SCALES will not see all the changes.
They will not see the work your MIND and BODY are doing together.
They can only tell you what they see on the surface.
They won't see your trousers fitting better, or your ease in getting up from the couch.
They won't see you rising out of bed without a foggy head.
They won't see you looking forward to the fresh food that you'll prepare for your meals.
They can't tell that your tastebuds are changing and that you've drunk more water this week than you did in a whole month a while back.
They will not see the compliments people are giving you on how your skin is so bright.
They can't see that you are lifting your baby onto the change table without a groan.
They won't see that you chose well at the foodcourt.
They won't see the smile on your face after you've made it through an entire gym class.
They can't see how hard you've worked and how your willpower is getting stronger each day.
They won't see that you are beginning to like yourself.
They haven't seen you make plans to meet with a friend for a walk instead of sitting on the couch.
They didn't see you decide to drive past the servo and NOT pick up the coke and choc combo.

The scales only see part of what's happening.
A lot can happen in a week.

25 September 2012
So I am excited! I sometimes feel like I'm not "doing it" properly by doing all the parts of the programs on the right days and not eating exactly what is suggested for dinner - with kids and husbands and allergies, I need to adapt a bit. So after joining "late", doing my first fitness test very "late" because husband was away and I didn't have an opportunity to do it, yesterday I did my time trial "late" and took over 30 secs off my "run" - my goal was to run the entire km so I took it pretty steady and probably could have gone faster but the previous time I went flat out at first and ended up almost having an asthma attack for the first time in about 8 yrs. And the new time put me squarely in the intermediate fitness range - woohoo! I then ran for 15 minutes non stop on the treadmill at the gym and did my first intermediate training session which while it hurt I felt like I nailed it!

Not sure what to do about my abs, still nothing resembling a situp/crunch happening, I can only assume it will get there.

I had planned to run 30 mins by now non-stop but I am just not there fitness wise, tomorrow I am going to go for 20 mins and hopefully once I am fully recovered from the flu I'll get to 30 mins. I feel pretty good about myself, a year ago I was huffing and puffing just pushing the pram up a hill and I am now feeling really fit and good about myself, I would love to be a size 10 already but have to look back on how far I've come even in the last few weeks of the 12WBT.

It is rubbing off on the family too - Princess 3 and  Husband both did a time trial,  Princess 3 plays "mummy is going for a jog" more than going for coffee now, I am feeling mostly under control but still suffering attacks of incidental eating... not that it is out of control eating but not in control either - mostly things like picking at dinner while I am preparing it, eating some of husband's crappy takeaway etc, weight watchers says to eliminate things like the crappy takeaway but I don't really believe that, that is sustainable I need to work out strategies to not eat that crap when others are. Had a win the other day, made up some yoghurt and strawberries and had that whilst husband and the kids had KFC (he was hung over!). And I had two tim tams the other night - I was starving and I talked myself into it but afterwards just felt sad that I ate 200 calories - I need to get into a mindset that feels good about having the occasional treat - I had done a bushwalk that day which would've burnt off at least those calories and then some. I don't eat any of the treat foods on the program as they aren't really my thing (dessert), but maybe I need to start adding them in or equivalent treats to I feel that it is ok to have the odd treat food.

So 12 months on... where am I, I think I am in a good place - I am enjoying the 12wbt, the fitness side is awesome and having some of the thought taken out of what to eat is great - I am still going to weight watchers, that was a commitment I made with myself a year ago, I would go to every meeting, I would weigh in every week until I hit my goal weight (which is 65 kgs). I am still not perfect, I never will be - today business got on top of me and I ended up snacking on hubby and kids KFC (the next hurdle is to get him to stop!!), which pretty much cancelled out my 840 calorie workout at the gym this morning, but that ok, light dinner tonight and some exercise tomorrow on "rest day" and that should help.

I went away this week and was amazed at myself - I tried to talk myself into choosing something like gnocchi with gorgonzola sauce on a work trip which included a couple of dinners at some very excellent Italian restaurants but the "old me" couldn't convince the "new me" to do it - I had a couple of slices of rocket pizza (tomato, rocket, slice of prosciutto and a sprinkle of parmesan) and a small risotto - (salmon, asparagus and stock) and one glass of wine. It was fabulous, I didn't feel like I was missing out, that I deserved to have more or anything negative. The first thing I had done on arriving at the hotel that afternoon was find out where the nearest gym was and I did my workout before dinner - my workout and body had earned the right for me NOT to put a gallon of crap into my body. The next night the "old me" had a similar fight with the "new me" and as I was starving - need to remember to snack before restaurant meals in future - I got a large marinara but really apart from a fair bit of pasta and a glass of wine it was still a fabulous choice. My heart sighed for the lady at the next table, who ordered a large creamy pasta and a bowl of chips for her body...

This morning I had my first Saturday session with a fellow 12WBT member - a lady who was in town and I had found out about casual memberships etc at my gym via her request at the forum. We met this morning and my initial thought was - oh, another fit looking person wanting to run 10 kms instead of the 5 they can already do. Turns out I judged that book all wrong. This amazing lady has lost 55 kg in the past four years! 40 kgs of it through WW and the last 15 kgs with the 12WBT - she has 4 kg to go - she is me! I don't even have as many to lose - 52 kgs will see me at goal.

It was inspiring as we chatted (and sweated) and she showed me her "before" pic. She knows how hard it is and she got there - how, because she just kept doing it, week in, week out... I know it is that simple but to meet someone who has been there and done it and is almost there was fantastic. 

12 months ago - I could not run 30 secs - I can now run 15 minutes easily (need to be brave and try longer)

12 months ago - I had no clothes that fit and had to buy new clothes after my maternity clothes didn't fit in the largest size I have every worn - a 22, now I have had to buy new clothes as nothing stays on and am buying 16s in some clothes, 18s in pants and no longer buying from the plus size section.

12 months ago - I was tired... really tired all the time, my baby slept through at the time, it wasn't that, it was that my unfit, heavy body was wearing me out - now I bounce through most days, even if I'm tired I know the thing to fix it is a gym session and a good night's sleep. I run after my kids and don't get puffed, I carried my 9 kg one year old, 8 kms up a mountain last month, I would get puffed and red just walking on a flat surface carrying her when she was a newborn.

I am so excited about the next 12 months and the 12 months after that - my expectations of the numbers on the scales have relaxed, I know that even if they still only creep downwards, every step I take is a step closer to my goal.